Are you feeling stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, stuck, angry or just not yourself?
Many men put off getting support because they think they should handle things on their own, worry about what others might think, or aren’t sure what happens next.
But mental health issues and challenges can affect anyone, and getting support early can help you get back on track sooner.
You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong.
The important thing is to take action early. Support is available, and closer than you might think.
There isn’t a ‘one-size-fits-all’ solution – you need to find what works for you. Whether you prefer practical tools, talking support or activity-based approaches, there are options available.
I put it off for months because I thought I should be able to sort it myself. Once I spoke to someone, I wished I’d done it sooner. You don’t have to be at breaking point to get help.
Why can it be so hard to talk about?
Many men grow up hearing messages such as:
- “Man up”
- “Get on with it”
- “Don’t show weakness”
- “Keep your feelings to yourself”
Over time, this can make it harder to talk about problems or ask for help when things get difficult.
Men can hide their struggles behind work, humour, sport, alcohol, keeping busy or staying silent
It’s not because they don’t care or don’t feel things deeply, but because they’ve learned not to show it.
In Guernsey’s close-knit community, concerns about privacy can make talking even harder. Some men worry everyone will know their business. Others worry they’ll be judged differently by colleagues, friends or family.
Everyone experiences ups and downs in their mental wellbeing. Stress, loss, relationship difficulties, health problems, work pressures and major life changes can all affect how we’re feeling and how we cope. That’s a normal part of being human.
Talking about how you’re feeling and getting support when you need it isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a positive step towards looking after yourself and getting back on track
The Facts
40%
75%
3 times
The male suicide rate is approximately three times higher than the female rate.
Behind every statistic is a person, a family and a community.
Research consistently shows men are less likely to access mental health services, meaning many struggle in silence. But there are steps we can all take to improve this.
Sources: ons.gov.uk. jamesplace.org.uk samaritans.org
What does struggling look like?
Mental health challenges don’t always look the way people expect. For many men, difficulties can show up as:
-
Feeling constantly stressed or under pressure
-
Irritability, frustration or anger
-
Working longer hours to avoid other problems
-
Difficulty sleeping
-
Low motivation or energy
-
Drinking more alcohol than usual
-
Taking more risks than normal
-
Pulling away from family and friends
-
Feeling numb or detached
-
Losing interest in things you usually enjoy
You don’t have to wait until things become a crisis before getting support.
Support that works for you
Support doesn’t always have to look like therapy. Different approaches work for different people.
Supported Self Help
Supported Self Help is a free programme from Guernsey Mind designed to help people better understand and manage their mental health. Working alongside a trained coach, you’ll learn practical tools and techniques that can help you cope with challenges and improve your wellbeing.
Healthy Minds
Healthy Minds is run by the States of Guernsey and provides free support for adults experiencing mild to moderate anxiety or depression.
They offer guided self-help, counselling and talking therapies.
Your GP
If your mental health is affecting your daily life, your GP can discuss treatment options and refer you to appropriate services.
Many people feel nervous about making an appointment. Remember, GPs speak to people about mental health concerns every day.
Prefer action to talking?
Many men find it easier to improve their mental wellbeing through activity and connection. This might include:
- Walking groups
- Exercise and sport
- Fishing or outdoor activities
- Volunteering
- Men’s groups
- Community projects
- Spending time in nature
Useful links and information
Starting the conversation
If you’re worried about someone, letting them know you’re there to listen can be incredibly valuable.
You don’t need to be an expert. You don’t need to have all the answers. Often the most important thing is simply showing someone you care.
A few helpful tips:
- Listen without judgement.
- Give them time to talk.
- Avoid rushing to solve the problem
- Let them know they’re not alone
- Check in again later
- Encourage professional support if needed
Sometimes one conversation isn’t enough. The fact you’ve asked can matter more than you realise.
Try asking simple, open questions:
I’ve noticed you seem a bit quieter than usual. How are things going?
You seem to have a lot on your plate lately. How are you doing?”
Worried someone may be thinking about suicide?
Research shows that asking questions about suicide does not put the idea into someone’s head. Instead, it can help someone feel heard and open the door to getting support.
If you’re worried that someone may be suicidal, ask them about it. Even if you don’t know for sure.
You may worry that this might indirectly encourage the person to act on their feelings. But speaking openly about suicide can make it easier for people to open up and seek help.
Asking simple, direct questions can encourage them to be honest about how they’re feeling. Many people feel relieved and less isolated when they’re asked.
It is okay to ask direct questions.
For example:
Are you thinking about suicide?
Are you having thoughts of ending your life?
Need urgent help?
If you need immediate support:
- Contact your GP and request an urgent appointment
-
Call Samaritans free on 116 123, available 24 hours a day.
-
If you are at immediate risk of harming yourself or someone else, call 999 or attend the Emergency Department.