Mental health problems can affect anyone, but many men face particular challenges when it comes to talking about how they feel and getting support.

From a young age, men are often given messages that they should be strong, stay in control and keep their emotions to themselves. These expectations can make it harder to open up when things feel difficult.

Men often hide distress behind work, humour or silence. Not because they don’t feel things deeply, but because they’ve learned not to show it. Whether through social expectations or pressure to “just get on with it”, many men struggle to talk openly about what they’re going through.

The reality is that struggling with your mental health is part of being human. Talking about your feelings is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of strength.

Many men experience anxiety, depression, stress and loneliness.

Some may cope by withdrawing from others, using alcohol or drugs, or becoming angry or frustrated.

Men are also less likely to seek help for their mental health and are at greater risk of suicide.

Sources: samaritans.org ons.gov.uk

The Facts

Fact 1

Around three-quarters of people who die by suicide are men. 

Fact 2

In England, the male suicide rate is around three times higher than the female rate. 

Fact 3

Men aged 50-54 currently have the highest suicide rate of any male age group. 

Fact 4

Research shows that men are often less likely to seek support for mental health difficulties, meaning many struggle in silence. 

Behind every statistic is a person, a family and a community. That’s why creating safe spaces where men can talk openly is so important.

In small communities like Guernsey, where privacy is valued and people often know each other, speaking up can feel even more difficult. But recognising the signs that someone may be struggling and reaching out to them can make a real difference.

 

Sources: ons.gov.uk.  jamesplace.org.uk   samaritans.org

Why Do Some Men Hide Their Struggles?

Expectations and Stereotypes

Society often promotes narrow ideas about what it means to be a man. Men can feel pressure to appear tough, independent and emotionally strong, even when they are struggling.

Messages such as “man up” or “just get on with it” can make it harder to ask for help. They can leave men feeling as though they should deal with problems on their own.

Fear of Judgement

Some men worry they will be judged, criticised or seen differently if they talk about their mental health. Past experiences of not being listened to or taken seriously can make it even harder to reach out.

Different Experiences and Challenges

Every man’s experience is different. Some men may face additional barriers to getting support because of their culture, ethnicity, sexuality, disability or other lived experiences.

For example, some Black men, South Asian men, LGBTQ+ men and disabled men may face stigma, discrimination or difficulties accessing support that feels right for them. These experiences can make it harder to speak openly about mental health or seek help when it’s needed.

10 Quiet Signs to Look Out For

Men don’t always talk about how they’re feeling, but that doesn’t mean they’re okay.

Mental health struggles can show up in subtle ways that are easy to overlook. Learning to recognise these signs can help you support someone before they reach crisis point.

Some signs to look out for include:

  1. Increased irritability or anger.

  2. Withdrawing from family, friends or social activities.

  3. Spending excessive time at work or avoiding home life.

  4. Increased drinking, gambling or other risky behaviours.

  5. Ongoing tiredness or unexplained physical aches and pains.

  6. Difficulty sleeping or concentrating.

  7. Losing interest in hobbies and activities they usually enjoy.

  8. Making self-critical or hopeless comments.

  9. Neglecting personal appearance or hygiene.

  10. A sudden sense of calm after a period of distress.

It’s important to remember that these signs don’t always mean someone is experiencing a mental health problem. However, if you’ve noticed a change in someone’s behaviour and you’re concerned, reaching out and starting a conversation could make a real difference.

Getting Support in Guernsey

If you’re struggling with your mental health, you’re not alone, and support is available locally.

Supported Self Help

Supported Self Help is a free programme from Guernsey Mind designed to help people better understand and manage their mental health. Working alongside a trained coach, you’ll learn practical tools and techniques that can help you cope with challenges and improve your wellbeing.

Healthy Minds

Healthy Minds provides free support for adults experiencing mild to moderate anxiety or depression. They offer guided self-help, counselling and talking therapies.

Your GP

If your mental health is affecting your daily life, your GP can discuss treatment options and refer you to appropriate services. 

Urgent Support

If you need immediate help:

  • Contact your GP and request an urgent appointment.
  • Call Samaritans free on 116 123, available 24 hours a day.
  • If you are at risk of harming yourself or someone else, call 999 or attend the Emergency Department.

Supporting Someone Else

If you’re worried about a man in your life, letting them know you’re there to listen can be incredibly valuable.

Try to:

  • Listen without judgement.
  • Give them time to talk.
  • Avoid dismissing their feelings or telling them to “cheer up”.
  • Reassure them that they don’t have to face things alone.
  • Encourage them to seek support if they need it.

If you’re concerned that someone may be thinking about suicide, it is okay to ask directly:

  • “Are you thinking about suicide?”
  • “Are you having thoughts of ending your life?”

Asking these questions will not put the idea into someone’s head. In fact, it can help someone feel heard and open the door to getting support.

You don’t need to have all the answers. Simply being there, listening and encouraging someone to seek help can make a real difference.

 

Starting the Conversation

Small changes can sometimes be a sign that someone is struggling. Whether it’s a friend, brother, colleague, partner or neighbour, trusting your instincts and asking how someone is really doing can make a difference. You don’t need to fix the problem or know exactly what to say. Simply listening, showing you care and helping someone feel less alone can be incredibly powerful.

If you’re worried about someone, try to choose a relaxed, private moment to talk. You could start with something simple like:

I’ve noticed you seem a bit quieter lately. How are things going?

 

Sometimes a text message, phone call or quick check-in can be enough to let someone know they’re not alone.

Many people find it difficult to open up about how they’re feeling, so try not to pressure them. Listen carefully, avoid rushing to offer solutions and give them time to talk in their own way.

One conversation may not be enough. Checking in again a few days or weeks later can be just as important as the first conversation.

If you think it would help, encourage them to seek professional support through Guernsey Mind, their GP or another trusted service.

By creating safe spaces for conversations about mental health, we can help more men get the support they need when they need it most.

Remember: a simple conversation could change – or even save – a life.